Dorothy Parker is Awesome

It's Monday, and as you all know, my day is supposed to be Friday (don't worry, I'm sharing it with Rebecca Black) Only, because I have this phobia for planning, deadlines and anything that has to do with time management, I'm doing it today.

I know we're supposed to introduce ourselves on our first blog post, but I won't torture you (You is a hypothetical term. I don't know who "you" are, probably Enya or Eylinn or the voices in my head, maybe even some nameless stranger who found this website on internet. Hi nameless stranger!) with the boring details of my equally boring life. Let me introduce you to somebody awesome instead.

 This is Dorothy Parker. She was born in 1893 and died in June 7, 1967. She was a writer, poet, feminist and basically fabulous woman. She was also badass, she had affaires with married writers like that dude who wrote The Great Gatsby, and she stood up for the rights of coloured people. And she was such a bitch, a quote: "If you have nothing nice to say, come sit by me."

"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (hihi)

Someone told Dorothy that Clair Boothe Luce was even kind to her inferiors; Parker replied "Where does she find them?" (hihi)

"His ignorance was an Empire State Building of ignorance. You had to admire it for its size."

She also had a bob, which was the flapper-style haircut of the roaring twenties, which makes me love her even more. I think she lived in a pretty cool time, just when the world was about to get away from the dated Victorian ideals, when Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald were alive and there were smoky jazzbars and flappers and those black-and-white movies I love.

When she was being interrogated by the FBI (because homegirl was apparantly supporting communism. Some people have cocaine addictions, and Dorothy had supporting communism as a flaw.)she said:

  Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the government?

Dororthy was even pro-gay, in the fucking twenties:  "Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

And I will end this blog with a few wise words of Dorothy:

Resumé

"Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren’t lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live."

Comment

 Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

A medley of extemporanea;

And love is a thing that can never go wrong;

And I am Marie of Roumania.